The Cycles in life –
Baby Born & Feeding – Were you breastfed or not? Skin to skin with mum. Left to cry or not – No guilt about whether you did it or not but if you there is a possibility that those unidentified feelings of hunger, insecurity, rejection, anger, frustration, disappointment, emptiness could be traced to early experiences at or away from momma’s bosom.
What if the milk provided did not satisfy or caused issues with your digestive system then again, you will find yourself feeling unable to trust, unable to let your hair down and even the idea of getting support from anyone will be disregarded as vaguely scary. No matter how successful you are, you feel this vague sense of never having enough – You keep striving and striving for more
Sudden deprivation – Mum chose to stop feeding for whatever reason and there is a sense of rejection, of losing what is rightfully yours. – I won’t get mine. You cannot stop smoking.
Baby in crib and parents argued about something loudly – They take in the anger and it leaves them with a sense of anxiety and inability to handle conflict. They cannot talk in relationships, they want to flee, run away. There is a sense of terror
Baby in crib left to cry – A feeling that no one cares and no one will help – Loneliness
Baby in crib with angry parents when baby starts to cry or when baby’s nappy is soiled – Too scared to truly voice an opinion as you feel like a burden
Baby not held or cuddled – Then find it hard to be spontaneously loving. Everything is by plan and structure. This person may give lots of material things to assuage their inability to touch or be touched with comfort but not give themselves. There is an emptiness inside as well. And may be very angry person as he feels that people around him should provide the answer to needs he cannot even name.
Toddler rushed to potty and to be dry can become a striver, not free to find his own path in his own time. And then if made to feel shameful for ailing themselves then you may start to look at your private parts with disgust and disdain and feel that you are shameful.
Was love a result of something you did? Or was it unconditional? Yes, it is good to get recognition for things you did great but love cannot be dependent on what you have done. It makes for adults who do not want to make mistakes or do not want to admit their mistakes
Or it can lead to someone who hides their true self because deep down, you do not believe anyone really wants to know you, even a very close partner. there may be an inner vow never to be found out as then all hell could break loose
This person cannot relax and keep trying to be valued based on their performance.
This person must begin to realise that they are not loved more or less based on what they do. Inner healing starts with telling you repeatedly that love is always present.
Nothing wrong with being told off when a child as long as it is not ongoing and preachy and shame inducing – Point out what was done and ask for restitution, rather than making it about the person.
Maybe you already suffered the consequences of something you did wrong as a toddler, for example you put your hand in the fire when you had been told repeatedly not to and you got a small burn which was pain and a consequence but then your parent went on to YEL, YELL, YELL at you then you are unlikely to take risks, unlikely to make mistakes because you have now associated YOUR PERSON with your mistake. You need freedom to experiment, to explore, to say yes or not but if you are wrapped up in fear of being considered less than because your inner child is wounded then you will not have the freedom you desire. And you may never experience the fullness of what life could be.
If overprotected you may continue to look for someone to look after you, never hold down a job for a variety of reason, be very insecure
If children are controlled from birth, they become people pleasers who are very judgemental of anyone that does not match up to standard though they would never say this to the person but a trusted partner could be the brunt of their anger at some other person. You need to be set free from the need to perform and free to be yourself again, to laugh at yourself again, to just have fun again.
If you were over protected then you might have fear of animals – Don’t go near the dog – it might bite. The cat could scratch, the goat is smelly and you will never get the stink out.
Might fear climbing trees, going on roller coasters, flying, doing anything fun because of the fear instilled in you
You may never try new experiences because of all the warnings you were given – Too little to do that, let me do that for you. Be careful. watch out, you will get lost. Let someone else that knows how to do it, do it or never given the opportunity to try things because you took too long.
Someone may have died when you were young and no one explained to you what was going on so you knew something was wrong but everyone thought you were too young to understand
No one may have understood how much it hurt to lose that toy when you were growing up. They just thought they could just replace it and you are left
Trust is formed in those first few years – If you struggle with trust then you need to heal that person within you.
Were you informed what you had to be when you grew up?
Did you feel you had to rebel in order to make your own way?
This is not unconditional love and though you may get on with your parents right now, there will be a brokenness inside that needs deliberate sealing so that you are truly free…
Or maybe you went along with what they wanted and feel you cannot disappoint them – However you want something else or you have been feeling this sense of there must be more.
Sibling rivalry can go askew if one feels less favoured and misunderstood or one feels less capable or beautiful
If one had to wear hand-me downs all the time and decided it meant they were second best – note that they could have decided it was a thing of awesome to be big enough to wear the clothes – so choice matters a lot
Feeling second best as a child can lead to always thinking that things like job promotions will not happen to them. in ability to trust your partner as you think they will go off and look at someone else, not able to receive compliments, difficulty in believing that they are loved.
Over discipline / Under discipline both carry their own issues.
Teasing by a parent/teacher, even in joke could have caused you pain that still lasts
An only child may always feel the need to strive because they were measured against adult standards.
And then of course there is real true physical/sexual abuse that can happen to a child. That is beyond the scope of this course though some of what you learn here will help you
Did you ever promise not to cry? Not to get fat and now you cannot even get to a regular weight? Never to be so think that the boys would notice you because they hurt you that time?
What of a vow never to be like your mother? or father? And now there is an issue that they suffered with that you are suffering with the opposite thing?
Maybe you made a vow not to share what you feel with a woman because your mother would use your words against you.
You may start to feel as though all this is just crazy and you should be over it. You should be and whether you are or are not, are different. What do you feel as you hear me speak of these things.
Quit yourself down – Ask for intuitive guidance – What is relevant to you and what is not?
What scenes from your childhood come to mind – Let them rise up in your mind – this is the awareness phase
write down areas of life that keep showing up and ask for guidance in figuring out the root of them.
Much Amazing Love